Big impact, small commitment – the power of being a support foster carer.

I've always thought fostering might be something I'd do after retirement. I enjoy my job in marketing and didn’t know about part-time fostering until I joined Break. In my previous career, I worked with children and young adults in schools, women's refuges, children's homes, and social care. Many had faced tough circumstances and needed long-term foster families, but there weren't enough available, which was heartbreaking. I’ve also seen foster families leave because they lacked proper support.

When I saw how Break’s approach helped foster families stay together long-term by providing genuine support and matching them with support foster carers for much-needed breaks, I knew I had to get involved.

I was nervous at first. Would Jacob, the little boy we care for, like us? Would I get along with his main foster carers, given my occasional social awkwardness? But I was excited to be part of his life and play a small role in giving him the best chance to thrive.

The process was really straightforward. Break’s social worker visited our home to discuss everything and we had time to think it over. The assessment wasn’t as intimidating as it might sound. Of course, it can feel vulnerable to be so open.

They also involved my ten-year-old son, helping him understand what it entailed and feel part of the decision - after all, he’s fostering with us too. They even brought a chessboard to play while they chatted, making him comfortable to ask questions.

I know people get nervous about providing referees and such, but you have to remember this isn’t about catching you out. They want new foster carers, and as long as you’ve been open and honest, there’s nothing to worry about. The chats they have with references also help your friends and family understand what it all means so they can better support you. The panel day was nerve-wracking, but they made it as comfortable as possible, and the questions were all fair.

We’ve been doing this for six months now, and Jacob is very settled when he stays with us. It brings us so much joy to see his little smile when he toddles up the driveway. He knows exactly which toys he’s going for!

Before he arrives in the morning, we do a quick sweep of the house to ensure any of our son’s toys are put away, as he’s younger than him. We spread out age-appropriate toys, prep his favourite snacks, and set up playdough on the table. He’s a bit delayed in talking, so I like to make things super accessible for him in case he can’t ask.

We’ll have a nice time playing at home so he feels grounded. I’ve always found that if kids feel safe, having food, hugs, and knowing the plan, they can relax and be themselves. Then, we’ll show him some choices of where we could go in the afternoon and watch for his reaction to help us choose. Last time, it was Wroxham Barns. Boy, did we go on those fairground rides a lot!

Then it’s home for some quiet time, maybe some cartoons, dinner, bath, and bed. He’s a great sleeper so far- long may that continue! We hear him giggling when he wakes in the morning, which is so sweet. We’ve all been learning sign language along with him. He’s a smart little boy and is picking it up quickly. He gets so excited signing "toast" in the morning that it turns into a sort of dance!

His Break foster family has had such an incredible impact on him. It’s the first time he’s had one home for this long in his short life, which is so sad, but the effect of being settled is incredible. I can see how much he loves them when we drop him back.

He’s gone from being incredibly withdrawn to a very cheeky, funny little boy who is very caring. At first, he had some big emotions, and it was hard to see him struggling with them, but we’ve all banded together to give him ways to express them and show him strategies to help. Break gave us all a personalised training session on things specifically to try with him, which gave us all confidence and was a great reflective and safe space.

Seeing how much he has come along in six months makes me very excited for his future and so privileged to be a small part of that.

As a support foster carer, you see the child every four to six weeks which means you get to see the leaps in their progress. It’s so special to see Jacob getting the opportunities he deserves.

You’ll have many rewarding moments. Teaching Jacob to sign "help" when he needs something, "please" and "thank you," and seeing him use them when we’re out has been special.

The way he now comes to us for cuddles when he needs it and melts into us because he knows he is safe. How he has started understanding games and he now leaps up when we play "sleeping bunnies" to hold my hands and jump.

The only real challenge has been that, unlike typical childcare situations where parents can provide detailed information about their child's preferences and routines, with Jacob, we had to learn as we went along. When a child comes into care, the whole team around them are on a journey to learn about them. We didn’t know much about what he liked or needed, so we had to pay close attention and be flexible.

But honestly? That’s been part of the magic. Instead of assuming, we get to discover.